Your sense of Proportion

"Keep your sense of proportion by regularly, preferably daily, visiting the natural world." Catlin Matthews

Visiting the natural world on daily walks outside is medicinal. When I get the chance, I love taking lunch time to enjoy the outdoors. In Minden, it was a long stretch of back roads by some cow pastures and a few horse ranches. Smelly on occasions but fantastic for views of the mountains through Carson Valley.

Now, I hear the rushing sound and sights of the Truckee River but sometimes it isn't enough. I keep thinking I need to bring my fishing pole or swim shorts to hang out in the water on some days. But I walk and watch as fly fisherman are out trying their hand once again to catch those watery creatures below. Birds chirp in trees all around. People and their dogs seem to enjoy this little trail too or picnic along the way and as the weather gets hotter, people gather. But no matter what time of the day I try and get out for lunch.

In the Spring, Summer and Fall when the weather gets nice and it's hiking time, there's another opportunity to basque in the beauty of the outdoors. Camping and hiking are a nice reprieve from the daily grind. And while outside, exploring the incredible things God has created all around, I'm kept humble. I see things in proportion. My little problems, my little complaints are absolutely nothing in the overshadowing revelation that God created all things and holds all things in His hand. He will work out whatever is my momentary challenge. "When one tugs at a single thing in nature, he finds it attached to the rest of the world." John Muir I also come back with fresh eyes to see humanity. In all our quirks and roughness, we are tied together. What I do affects others. How I live counts. And yet the whole world isn't centered on me. I am not the center of this universe. My sense of proportion is strengthened and invigorated to live this thing we call LIFE.

The Nearness of You

This morning I woke early and just wanted to be "near Him". I guess I just wanted to feel His embrace of truth. I was tired of my thoughts and distractions and wanted them to be washed away by HIM. Funny how a Nora Jones song means a lot in a moment like this. "It's not the pale moon that excites me That thrills and delights me, oh no It's just the nearness of you It isn't your sweet conversation That brings this sensation, oh no It's just the nearness of you When you're in my arms and I feel you so close to me All my wildest dreams came true I need no soft lights to enchant me If you'll only grant me the right To hold you ever so tight And to feel in the night the nearness of you" One day I will see this God clearly and as plain as day. One day all the questions will be answered too. In the meantime, it's His nearness that I KNOW exists. I can see it all around in His creation but when I feel Him near, that's awesome!!

Happy girls

True beauty is not skin deep but goes so much deeper. You could have the perfect body, be fit as a fiddle, but if your heart is dark, it will show. You might have the perfect skin, but how are you with others? What motivates and drives you in life? When you get to the heart of someone, that's when beauty or ugliness is seen most clearly. I have a friend who raises her kids to have a happy heart. If they start showing attitude, she sends them to their room until they can get a happy heart. I think there's something there because ultimately we are responsible for our own heart - how we tend to what grows there, how we garden it, etc. And kindness, compassion, grace never go out of style. I think this is a good question to ask oneself periodically. What's in your heart?

I don't think that means you have to be a soft, delicate, fragile little flower that seems breakable and unbelievable. But bitterness, anger, a constant state of sadness is like the color purple. You're bruised and it's showing. This may not be your fault what has happened to you or where you find yourself but what you do have control over is what you do in those moments. Whatever is weighing you down isn't worth the weight. Let go of it and move on. Even if all in your life is going crappy, but you have a happy heart, or you have to go to your room and get a happy heart, it will show through. What's troubling you can't be worth the weight it bears down on you. Not to mention it's just not pretty. Don't you like to be around pretty things? Things that delight your soul to look at? Your heart can be that way too....doesn't have to be so dark and ugly.

Isn't it funny too how once you find yourself all in a twitter over something so menial, you just want to kick yourself later because hindsight is truly 20/20. It's so easy to see how dumb something was once you've done it. It takes less effort just to smile, to lighten your load and let go of the things concerning you. This is where trust in God also comes in. Find joy in life in spite of whatever your circumstances might be. In my humble opinion, this is a sign of understanding true beauty. It's a lifelong endeavor but so worth the glow.

Love

Listening to the podcasts on marriage from Livingstones, it's been super encouraging to be reminded in a fresh way - what love in a relationship is meant to be.

What I love most is realizing that God has provided a best friend in James. And that together, we are called to glorify God in our marriage. I love that! Marriage is like a triangle. Each person is at the bottom corner on either side with God at the top. As we grow closer to Christ, and pursue Christ, and lean on Christ in our marriage and serve one another, the closer we get to each other and to Christ. LOVE THIS. So absolutely true.

Reflection & Study

For years I've heard of Beth Moore and her BBL studies. For years I avoided them because it was "trendy" and everyone was talking about it.

But my time has come and we're studying the book of James. Did you know it was one of the first books of the New Testament to be written? Did you know that many suspect the author to be the brother of Jesus. Or that the book was the last to be canonized because the way James writes is so unlike the rest of the New Testament authors? Different in what way, you might wonder. His writing is not unlike the tone of his brother, Christ Jesus in the gospels.

Did you know that James' brother actually denied or atleast mocked Jesus prior to this writing? It was James who said, "If you're the son of God then show yourself to the world." And yet James was also one of the first that Jesus appeared to after His resurrection. That is powerful and holds a powerful place in my heart.

Talk about rocking my world. Being authentic in faith and life is the theme to the book of James and it runs so deep that it is rocking my little world in such a good way.

Over the past five years, I've justified some things in my life and allowed them to linger. But now, I find myself looking Jesus straight in the eye about those things with renewed vigor for him to release me. This book is steeped with Christo-centric themes and I'm lavishing in the "ouch" moments that are prodding me closer to Him.

Sustain me

Originally, I wrote this blog a week after I returned from living in Budapest, Hungary for almost three years. Looking back now, I see that not much has changed in my thinking along these lines. In addition, I'm so blessed that I met my husband who has a similar perspective so we can build this life together.

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"Recently more than anything during these changing times I've realized just how much I desire the simple life. In that pursuit, I've also realized that I don't want to be propped up by any material or external things for my substenance. I've also realized I want people who are like minded in simplicity to be around. I don't mean simple-minded in the sense of not thinking, but in the sense of not taking anything in life for granted, especially people. This is part of a support system that builds a simple life. Of course I need to eat, I need a car to get around in Nevada, and those sorts of things, but I want a simple life - simple community living, simple Christ following, one where God is center place.

I can't believe how incredibly easy it is to allow so many other things to take center stage in life -- things that fade with time. And yet I continue to pursue the one thing alone that can truly support and uphold me through all the changing seasons of life, and that is Christ.

In the Catholic tradition, today is Ash Wednesday, 46 days before Easter and the beginning of Lent, a day to consider in some sort of thoughtful way those areas in your life where you fall short of the standard of God's goodness and begin a season of reflective living. The ashes on the forehead signify that you are in a state of repentance, wanting to turn away from things in your life that lead you further away from your creator and your relationship with Him.

Although I'm not a practicing Catholic, I appreciate this reverence and reflection and recognize it's significance in my life. When I was in high school, I became a believer and a Christ follower right around Easter time, in the month of April. This time of year is always significant for me. I have absolutely no idea what my life would look like had my heart not been turned to consider the claims of Jesus Christ and realize he was either a liar, a crazy man, or specifically, uniquely, divinely - the Lord of life. Here's where my life got complicated. I lost a lot of friends and was misunderstood because I realized that if He is the Lord of life - King or "Kiraly" in Hungarian - then He also has a kingdom. Not only that, if I am his child, there is royalty in this blood and I should start walking and talking like one who has been set apart for noble purposes. That life is meant to be lived simply before God but with the essence of His noble character. Not being better than anyone else for that will never be the case, but realizing this life is a journey to be set apart. And that's when I started to shed off weight that kept me from this pursuit.

I haven't always lived up to this standard and I guess that's the point. Ash Wednesday could very well be any other Wednesday or any other day for that matter. But it's a reminder that I desperately need this King of Kings to show up in all His royalty and arrest me, deliver me from carnal thinking. Not only that, I desperately need Him to sustain me in life.

Here is what I think about often. Many people I have known and loved started out well on this road as a Christ-follower but for a ton of seen and unforseen reasons, their faith waned, their fervor died, their marriages fell apart, their kids are a wreck and now they're no where to be seen on the pulse chart of true living. It sucks. It's sad. I hate it.

It's one thing to start on the path but it's another thing to finish well.

And to be honest with you, the only foreseeable way that I can imagine myself finishing well is if HE himself sustains me.
And He has promised to do that.

I am asking Him and He will answer.

"Create in me a pure heart, O God and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me." (Psalm 51:10-12)

To sus⋅tain
To support, hold, or bear up from below; bear the weight of, as a structure, to bear (a burden, charge, etc.), to undergo, experience, or suffer (injury, loss, etc.); endure without giving way or yielding, to keep (a person, the mind, the spirits, etc.) from giving way, as under trial or affliction, to keep up or keep going, as an action or process, to supply with food, drink, and other necessities of life, to provide for (an institution or the like) by furnishing means or funds."

Your Mind - What's growing there?

Renew your mind.

Whatever seeds are allowed to fester in your mind and soul, those will be watered with more thoughts in that direction. Those watered thoughts are taking root, they are being cultivated and will finally grow into whatever it is you're thinking about.

"Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things." - Philippians 4:8

"As a man thinks in his heart, so is he" - Proverbs 23:7