My Love/Hate List

In an effort to keep "linked in" with my sis, I am publishing my love/hate list per her request. Hate is quite a strong word but of no real affect these days. Sadly, "love" has been watered down to loving things like chocolate and long walks, both of which I do in fact love. Maybe I'd rather go into an expo on the words. What do they mean really and such things like that? But in an effort to keep it simple and because I don't have much time, let me just keep with the general idea of the love/hate blog my sister is after. I LOVE MY FAMILY. Everyone has family and every family is different. One day with the Pellants and you'll find yourself loved, lots of laughter, energy, a bit distracted in conversation with you, sometimes loud, opinionated, and you'll probably experience it AT LEAST once - someone talking over you, not meaning any harm, just carried away in their own thoughts, where you can't get a word in edge wise. I love my family's openness, their honesty, their randomness, their passion, fun, and a bit of silly behavior. I really love my family - each and every sibling, my parents, and now this love has extended to my in-laws and my husband who are now a part of the family. They are much more mild-mannered in general and I love all the wonderful things about each of them and of their family dynamics. It's a wonderful adventure to be close to your family and I do love it. I HATE WHEN FAMILIES GET RIPPED APART. What I'm talking about here is the very misfortunate thing of divorce. Although I also do hate the fact that my sister and her family moved to Seattle, I wouldn't say that we are ripped apart. They are just experiencing some things and have provided a place for the rest of the family to come and visit a cool city. But that thing of divorce I really do hate and especially when kids are involved. This past year I had to process, not just one but two families, one of which was the divorce of a well-loved and respected couple that I thought had a lifetime commitment. I was angry at the husband for saying he just got a hard heart and was going to divorce. No counseling, no working it out. I hate that. I get angry because with five kids watching, what the hell is that all about? Hardest part for me is that he proclaims to be a Christ-follower. If you're a Christ-follower with a hard heart, you need to go to some counseling. Because obviously Christ is not the author of that. Off my soap box for now. Suffice to say I HATE divorce. On a much lighter note, I LOVE BEING A HOME BODY. It's something I never would have expected from myself, but it's true. After being a globe trotter for so long, I just love being home, cooking, cleaning, lounging around reading books on the couch or starting to try my hand at gardening. I HATE BEING RUSHED AROUND ON DAYS OFF. Sometimes errands or events call for movement on a day off when I'd rather just brew coffee, sit in bed and read. I LOVE PRETTY FLOWERS. Something about their texture, their colors, their smells. Nothing quite brightens up a room or my heart besides pretty flowers. I HATE HILLS. I'm surrounded by them and whenever I venture off to run or cycle from the front door, I must take on these devils. I really do hate hills. I LOVE ROAD TRIPS. My new favorite thing is taking road trips with the husband. How I love to travel with him. I think we make a great team and really enjoy each other's company. I love exploring new places, driving through new towns and finding a quaint little shop or something that makes that town stand out. We don't even have to go far. I HATE WIND. There's another thing that I'm surrounded by. One time coming home and up the hill on my bike, it was so windy I was blown off the bike. I hate it. I LOVE SATURDAY MORNING BREAKFAST. I don't mind being the one making it either. Scrambled eggs, sausage, bacon, biscuits, fresh fruit and yummo coffee. It's like heaven on a Saturday! I HATE NECK PAIN. This past week I've experienced some of the worst neck pain. I've had to see the chiro a few times and got a massage. I hate body aches and pains. Noel and I had this conversation while in Seattle....If you had the choice between mental alertness and health in old age, which would you choose? I would choose health every time. I really do hate body pains. I LOVE FRESHLY GROUND AND BREWED ORGANIC COFFEE. Nothing tastes quite as delicious. I'm drinking it now. I HATE WHEN WOMEN GET CADDY. What is it about the female gender and caddyness? Fortunately, I've been mostly spared by this. But I have to say it's one of the things I HATE. Gossip, caddiness, it smells nasty and must stink to high heaven. I LOVE TO CREATE. I'm not very good at it, I must admit. But give me a paintbrush or guitar. I love to play around creatively and wish I had more time to do it. I HATE IT WHEN I CAN'T GET TO MY PILE TO ORGANIZE. Yes, I have a pile of things I will get to later. I hate it when it just keeps piling up and I don't get to it. I LOVE KNOWING THE CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE. It goes without saying there is nothing in the world that is meaningful without Him. Even the most mundane of daily events find so much meaning tied in with the grand weaver. Knowing Him in that personal affection through His son is priceless and I thank God every day that James and I do and can celebrate that love together. So there you go Noel. A little glimpse into the love hates for me.

Lewis and Clark tales

While peeking around the Visitor's Center in Glacier National Park, I picked up a small quick read book with short stories about the Lewis and Clark expedition. The book proved to be a refresher course of details once covered in elementary and junior high. I was reminded of forgotten details of the Louisiana Purchase, the story of Sacagaweia, the teenage indian girl whose presence helped secure some necessary information heading west. I was also reminded that Thomas Jefferson was more than a president, but also quite interested in horticulture and animal husbandry. Jefferson hired Meriwether Lewis to lead the expedition and take note of various plants and animals spotted along the way and to send samples back, that are now in a few museums in Philadelphia and his home in Monticello. It was the Lewis and Clark expedition that first spotted the magpie, Bison, antelope, and many more animals out west. This was going to be a commercial endeavor to outwit the British, the French, the Spanish. Just days before they set out west, the United States gained a lot of the territory that they would cross found in the Louisiana purchase. History is so strange! The book proved to be more than just a refresher course of historical facts I once learned in junior high. As James and I headed home from Glacier, we crossed several of the original sites on the Lewis and Clark expedition. As we made our way back to Nevada and they made their way towards the Pacific Ocean, looking for a trade route to India, our paths crossed at these landmarks and I was in awe as I took in surroundings while reading their account of the newest landscapes US citizens had ever taken note of for posterity's sake. Several thoughts have crossed my mind since. Actually, I'm a bit disturbed at US history regarding the Indians. As bold and courageous as Lewis and Clark might have been, where is the story from an Indian's perspective? I picked up a few books written by Stephen Ambrose about the Lewis and Clark expedition. Finished one in a day but it really didn't give an Indian perspective and so I just started reading his famous "Undaunted Courage". James finished a book last summer called "Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee" from an Indian's perspective and I figured it was time to read it. Two very different perspectives on Indian history. I've always found that multi-book reading can be fun, as long as you can keep your facts straight while reading. I manage. One thing that I found ironic, driving home from Glacier - we saw several animals that the expedition also took note of. We were sooooo hoping to spot Bigfoot or a Grizzly, even prepared with bear spray and all....Instead, our drive home provided encounters with Elk, deer, antelope, coyote, we think a fox, and a beaver. Oh well, happy trails.

Mary Mary, Quite Contrary

How does your garden grow? Watching my mom thoroughly enjoy herself in our backyard gave me the perspective, as a kid, that getting in and getting your hands dirty can be a lot of fun. Once Spring hit, we kids knew where to find mom. From Spring to Fall, when she wasn't tending to something else, she was outside enjoying her backyard. My favorite thing to pick were the little strawberries and the tomatoes that grew every year. If we started to distract her too long with kid stuff, she'd have us water some of the trees or do some things around the garden while she went back to digging and planting. Smart lady, that mother of mine! And you'll still find her enjoying her backyard even to this day! I never really understood her love for this oasis until now. Landscaping and gardening have become center front in my mind these days. I've been milling around ideas for our property and I've said a quiet prayer "God, you are the master gardener. I want to do it right and have no idea what I'm doing. Teach me." Of course there's the time and money it takes to develop land, but as we get both, I want to make it an oasis like my mom made our backyard growing up. Much like God's style, he sent the best. A good friend of mine has been a master gardener in Reno for over six years. I don't think I really realized the extent of her knowledge until working with her. She went through the training to become an expert on horticulture. Now she has a thriving business here in Reno as she's developed quite a unique base of clientele where she tends and cares for gardens, landscapes, containers and garden pots. But my friend doesn't just use her knowledge, she is also very thoughtful in finding what is going to work for her clients. It's not just knowledge, it's her passion and love for the garden. Here's where I come into this part of the story as a work mule. :) And I say that with complete joy! Recently she asked me to help her business out for a few hours when I can, to haul some of the heavier stuff and get down on my hands and knees and plant. The request was indeed an answer to prayers for me. I get to learn from the best and she's even paying me!! Soil is a rich ground for analogy in the Christian faith. I've found old roots or had to work with rocky, clay like soil here in Nevada. Jesus talked about different kinds of soil. He made the analogy between soil and our hearts. Does your heart retain the water and nutrients God provides by His word? If not, the soil of your heart has something to be desired. Last week while reading in the book of James 1:19, I read "In simple humility, let our gardener, God, landscape you with the word, making a salvation garden of your life." First, you need humility. Are you humble enough to recognize you don't have it all figured out? Are you humble enough to receive simply the truths that are evident but overshadowed by your own stubborn heart? Second, let our gardener do the work. We aren't called to change our own soil. We never could. We need a master gardener who can tell us what's missing, what's necessary, what needs to be uprooted and what needs to be added. Third, Landscape you with his word. Hmmmm. God's word has power. It has power to cause growth. But hearing the word and not doing it, not watering it, will lead to a dormant life. You want to have a life that's flourishing? Read God's word and let it marinate in your heart. Let it change your nature. Let it alter how you see yourself and others. You'll begin to see a salvation garden growing and it will be most excellent to look at!!

My friend gave me the pleasure of sitting with her in a French garden she helped design. We sat and drank a glass of wine and as you looked around the garden your eyes couldn't help but land on something unique and beautiful. All of the various flowers and plants working together to captivate the eye. Some of the plants and flowers hadn't bloomed for over six years. Other's were recently planted. Some she wasn't sure would make it! I thought about the reality of our life as a believer. God may plant a seed in us that doesn't start to bloom for years. Sometimes he has to take out old shrubs and things in us that just aren't bringing life or have become ugly to look at. Sometimes we hold our breath, wondering if this Christ-centered life is really going to make it. Yet, we're sitting on a beautiful French garden about to burst forth. This is what God wants to do with you, as a glory to Himself. It doesn't matter how barren and ugly your life has been before. He will deeply plant His goodness into your heart and you will see amazing things take place. This is how our garden grows. Humility. A Master Gardener. Landscaped by His word.

The Good Woman Project

If you're looking for a good read with truth and a Christ centered perspective? Read up!! Great articles on life. I'm enjoying the reads. http://goodwomenproject.com/

Don't stay angry forever

Struggling with forgiveness is like trying to run straight up a mountain with a 3,000 foot elevation climb. You may want to get to the top (signifying letting go of your anger and being able to forgive) but as you keep moving forward, your lung capacity constricts, your legs cramp up and you just want to stop the pain and stay at the bottom of the hill even if, in this analogy, it means holding onto your anger. It's a bit more comfortable at the bottom. Anger feels "right" in the moment when you're completely entitled to it. Funny thing about anger is that people or God are always involved in who/why we're angry. Recently, this truth took on a personal tone. I'm not one to get easily angry. I might get frustrated by something or someone and I'll join in on a good vent, but I don't typically want to stay there. In my mind, life is short and there's no good that comes from little petty caddy ways of people And I guess I just typically don't get seething angry, until recently. In one way, my passionate anger completely surprised me when it really shouldn't have been such a big surprise. As I recounted how this individual abandoned and deserted everything good in life, including family of almost 30 years to set up camp in Southern California and continue to live a very selfish lifestyle, I became livid. I actually took on the offense of his kids and spouse, when none of them asked me to. This individual was an important person to me in a few ways so to watch all the relationships get sabotaged and then continue to watch this individual invite people in Southern California to start new with him almost but so that he could use the "expertise" in "leadership skills" that were acquired here in Reno, made me absolutely livid!! I may still approach the individual with some thoughts, but not until I get to the very top of this mountain and am a bit more complete in forgiveness. I won't excuse what's been done and I know that neither will God but that being said, how does one process anger in a constructive way? I guess it's the same way you process anything as a Christ follower - you turn to God's words, to your relationship with Him for clarity. And it was in that good book that I found something that is continually readjusting my perspective. In Micah 7:18-19, Micah recounts God's character, which, as a Christ follower, I am challenged to strive toward. Obviously, I can never attain it, but it's a goal to go in that direction. "You don't nurse your anger and you don't stay angry long, for mercy is your specialty. That's what you love most. And compassion is on its way to us. You'll stamp out our wrongdoing." And then Daniel wrote in Daniel 9:9, "Compassion is our only hope, the compassion of you, the Master, our God, since in our rebellion we've forfeited our rights. We paid no attention to you when you told us how to live, the clear teaching that came through your servants the prophets." Finally, Jesus speaks the ultimate challenge when He said, "If you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly father will forgive you." Matthew 6:14-15 Ouch. I didn't leave my family or desert a Christian vision in a city that I called home for almost 30 years. But I have so many sins that need God's hand of forgiveness it's hard to count. Again, I'm not excusing this individual's decisions but I am telling my heart the truth. Heart, if you compare yourself to this individual and judge between yourself and this person, you may come out on top. But when you compare yourself to your Creator, the perfect one who is completely righteous, you will never come out on top. So let go. Let go of the hurt, the pain, the anger and let God be the judge. I won't stay angry forever. I will embrace compassion and mercy and kindness will follow me all the days of my life. This is my prayer in the thick of my steep run of a hill called forgiveness.

Unseen and seen

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Because of the impact that sin's residue has left on this planet and in the hearts of men, we don't live in a perfect world. Anyone whose looking can see this fact obviously. Yet all of us enjoy the outdoors, the beauty of mountains, flowers, rivers, or the soft skin of a brand new baby, because a natural world speaks of our invisible God's goodness. Many people just live for this natural world to gratify natural inclinations, always living on a surface level. By living only for the things you see and touch and taste with your senses, no matter how great you claim it has been, ultimately your life will never be fully lived. We are not natural beings having a spiritual experience. We are very spiritual beings, first made and created in the image of the unseen God and yet we're having a natural experience. Hebrews 11 "The fundamental fact of existence is that this trust in God, this faith, is the firm foundation under everything that makes life worth living. It's our handle on what we can't see. The act of faith is what distinguished our ancestors, set them above the crowd. By faith, we see the world called into existence by God's word, what we see created by what we don't see." Craziest thing about this world is that He made it all for our enjoyment. Through our joy in His creation, He receives joy and glory. But His greatest joy is when we enter into a living, viable relationship with Him. This is His greatest joy and our greatest purpose in life.

Book Review

While I was living in Budapest, a friend recommended that I read this book. Filled with some nuggets that I find encouraging to dwell on, I thought I'd put them out there. Here's a quote I read today that I'm loving.... "God took care to be the one with whom both the man and the woman would first experience personal relationship. Created to relate, their first taste of relationship was with Him.....The man was alone with God for some time, hearing His law, enjoying His fellowship, doing the tasks God had set before him. And the woman was with God while the man slept, communing with Him alone until He brought her to the man......Why would God take care to connect individually with the man and with the woman before He brought them together? Perhaps they needed the imprint of God's face to be their maiden experience of the heart-to-heart connection they were created to receive and give. And out of the overflow of that primordial love connection with God they found the pattern and energy for joyously giving themselves in love to each other" Yes, I do believe this is a key to what is taking place in our relationships. He will always be the first one.