Don't stay angry forever

Struggling with forgiveness is like trying to run straight up a mountain with a 3,000 foot elevation climb. You may want to get to the top (signifying letting go of your anger and being able to forgive) but as you keep moving forward, your lung capacity constricts, your legs cramp up and you just want to stop the pain and stay at the bottom of the hill even if, in this analogy, it means holding onto your anger. It's a bit more comfortable at the bottom. Anger feels "right" in the moment when you're completely entitled to it. Funny thing about anger is that people or God are always involved in who/why we're angry. Recently, this truth took on a personal tone. I'm not one to get easily angry. I might get frustrated by something or someone and I'll join in on a good vent, but I don't typically want to stay there. In my mind, life is short and there's no good that comes from little petty caddy ways of people And I guess I just typically don't get seething angry, until recently. In one way, my passionate anger completely surprised me when it really shouldn't have been such a big surprise. As I recounted how this individual abandoned and deserted everything good in life, including family of almost 30 years to set up camp in Southern California and continue to live a very selfish lifestyle, I became livid. I actually took on the offense of his kids and spouse, when none of them asked me to. This individual was an important person to me in a few ways so to watch all the relationships get sabotaged and then continue to watch this individual invite people in Southern California to start new with him almost but so that he could use the "expertise" in "leadership skills" that were acquired here in Reno, made me absolutely livid!! I may still approach the individual with some thoughts, but not until I get to the very top of this mountain and am a bit more complete in forgiveness. I won't excuse what's been done and I know that neither will God but that being said, how does one process anger in a constructive way? I guess it's the same way you process anything as a Christ follower - you turn to God's words, to your relationship with Him for clarity. And it was in that good book that I found something that is continually readjusting my perspective. In Micah 7:18-19, Micah recounts God's character, which, as a Christ follower, I am challenged to strive toward. Obviously, I can never attain it, but it's a goal to go in that direction. "You don't nurse your anger and you don't stay angry long, for mercy is your specialty. That's what you love most. And compassion is on its way to us. You'll stamp out our wrongdoing." And then Daniel wrote in Daniel 9:9, "Compassion is our only hope, the compassion of you, the Master, our God, since in our rebellion we've forfeited our rights. We paid no attention to you when you told us how to live, the clear teaching that came through your servants the prophets." Finally, Jesus speaks the ultimate challenge when He said, "If you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly father will forgive you." Matthew 6:14-15 Ouch. I didn't leave my family or desert a Christian vision in a city that I called home for almost 30 years. But I have so many sins that need God's hand of forgiveness it's hard to count. Again, I'm not excusing this individual's decisions but I am telling my heart the truth. Heart, if you compare yourself to this individual and judge between yourself and this person, you may come out on top. But when you compare yourself to your Creator, the perfect one who is completely righteous, you will never come out on top. So let go. Let go of the hurt, the pain, the anger and let God be the judge. I won't stay angry forever. I will embrace compassion and mercy and kindness will follow me all the days of my life. This is my prayer in the thick of my steep run of a hill called forgiveness.