This Doesn't Feel Like Joy

Pure Joy. Um Really? That's not my first thought when these things went down.

At age 18 years old,  my friend's oldest daughter just found out she has Multiple Sclerosis......not pure joy, pure crap.

At 44 years old, my cousin passed away and left five kids, a sister and parents behind....pure unexpected tragedy.

My Uncle who has already had quadruple bypass surgery, just had another heart attack....pure *sigh*s

A good friend was admitted to the ER once again in this struggle for health and healing with this nasty illness called Lupus....pure frustration.

Another good friend just found out her husband has opened the door to emotionally cheat on her.....pure anger.

After 18 years of marriage, another good friend is dealing with the remnants of a strained relationship through a very ugly divorce......pure hell.

Pure *sigh*, pure OMG I'm so tired of this crap!

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:2-4

As I look at these words penned by men who were not strangers to trial, I'm still blown away. JOY? REALLY?  Dear Jesus!!

Oh yes. Jesus.

He was no stranger to trial. He knows what prevailing sadness, anger, loneliness, darkness, death look like. He faced it head on at the cross.

The Cross. A place where the venom and the vile of human existence was met with severe blows. Hammered into wood. Bloody. Fleshy. Foul. The Crown of Thorns. Crushing the skull of every rational, loving human thought of what this life was meant to be - crushing into the pain of what this life often becomes because of sin and sickness.

Absolutely every single sin mankind has ever committed against another man, woman, child, animal, even the earth that groans,  every single vile strain of sickness, every single dark cloud lingering in loneliness and pain, was in fact pinned - actually nailed through the fleshy substance of Jesus to a slab of wood. 

But before it was nailed, He CARRIED these things. He WALKED with every single pain and suffering event in this world on HIS back, to his death. THAT cross was heavy with crap.

And they NAILED his flesh to it. The very things we feel, that we wrestle with, he felt and wrestled with to the point of death. He stayed there in that pain, that crap.  He didn't escape. For our sake, don't you see? He didn't call down angels and make his grand entrance at this point. No he suffered in silence. And when Christ said "It is finished" it was. The resurrection was just around the corner. It was for this joy that He endured. The joy of seeing people whole, restored, forgiven.

It's not a Bible story to be relegated to Easter. This dark day in history  was our darkest day today. What pain, what trails, what throws of life are you in?  When we go through it, remember He went through it. Through His pain, we can reach the other side - wholeness, restored relationships, forgiveness.

I still have a lot of questions, but I can't get away from that.

I can't get away from the truth that it was for our sake, he endured the hellish moments of our humanity.  He sighed on our behalf. He didn't want to go through it, if there was another way. His suffering. His pain. His anguish  -- was not in vain. Jesus, my loving God, Savior, Friend and Confidant pushed through and endured and it was bloody. It was messy. It was gruesome and dark because there was no other way.

No one understood that these events would unfold the greatest redemption, the greatest life. People still don't understand. And that's just how it is.

As a Christ follower, I believe He did not settle into the death of our darkest moments. He was resurrected. And in this one act that we celebrate on Easter, He brought life through the darkest moments. Tears wiped dry, peace and pure joy.

In the meantime, as we are here on earth, how am I, as a Christian who believes God can slay any giant (and does ultimately slay them all), look into the face of these trials, this darkness of EVERY kind and find my faith strengthened through perseverance? One day is like 1000 years to God. Our momentary pains will soon be swept away for good.

But in the meantime - In the meantime. In the mean time (these times are mean) consider it pure joy??

The God who already knows all things, has already been working every evil into His plan for good. For some this sounds sadistic of God. Ultimately and even temporarily. How could a loving God allow evil to happen in the first place?  But that would presume and assume that we know and understand it all. Considering there is scientific evidence that we use MUCH less than even 25% of our brain, I understand even more that there are things I cannot grasp in this moment in time.

"So that the true metal of your faith, being of much greater value than gold (which, though it comes to an end, is tested by fire), may come to light in praise and glory and honour, at the revelation of Jesus Christ" 1 Peter 1:7

Tested by the fiery trial of living. My faith is equal to gold. Faith in what? Faith in a good God no matter what is going on around me. Faith in that moment on the cross to be somehow connected to my temporary pain. Faith to looking past the pain, to realize it will not last, that it's not the end of the story, that God is full of Goodness and Glory, Resurrection and Life, that He WILL bring healing, forgiveness, wiping all tears dry (both in this life and the next). This way of looking and accepting life is worth it's weight in gold. Unanswered questions will be answered. Faith will become sight.

When it doesn't feel like joy, remember your faith is golden. Your perseverance and your identification with His suffering in those moments are a sweet reminders that we haven't experienced the fullness of the story. Your God is good NO MATTER WHAT.  You will get through. And in the meantime, there is joy to consider. Joy in what's to come.