Leave and Cleave

For several years, I've had the opportunity to perfect personal independence. I've had a massive amount of liberty to do what I want, to come and go with guidance from God....but as I please.

That being said, I've also had the opportunity to learn how to live in community, in the tandem of doing life with other like-minded people who choose to hold one another accountable and forsake some natural freedoms for the sake of cultivating authentic, Christ-centered relationships.

Although our American culture breeds fierce independence, I'm convinced there is a way to remain interdependent within relationships .....and one way includes the marriage relationship.

When you are single, you can be devoted in community and still hold onto the liberty to pick and choose to what level of intimacy and vulnerability you remain engaged in. I guess you can do that in marriage too, but wouldn't you be miserable? I'm not saying that's good or bad. It is what it is. But in the crux of living where independence meets interdependence, I'm thinkin' the marriage relationship is the epitome of learning humility and authentic love.

"Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined (cleave) to his wife, and they shall become one flesh" (Genesis 2:24).

One flesh. Hmmmm. That's a significant blow to personal independence. What happens when a man and woman come together in marriage? Obviously we know how babies are made but what I mean is this.....Is marriage just a functional union or is there something much more dynamic taking place behind closed doors? Something spiritual, like a baptism in character development with the closest human being to you? Well, what happens to some of that independence is obvious. You're now living in tandem with one other flawed, very "human" human being who has just as many needs, desires, flaws and strengths as you do. Selfishness probably shows its ugly head when you least expect it and learning to live in authentic love becomes part of the life journey.

Honestly, I'm excited about that! I'm excited about joining my life to one man for a lifetime. I'm sure it's bound to have it's challenges but what about the joys and the blessings of that intimate companionship? What about two individuals who desire to love and honor God together? I think it will be a beautiful thing in the midst of being a sudden blow to independence...So I'm excited to find out how to do it with the love of my life.