a supernova, a casanova, same thing

"God sends no one away empty, except those who are full of themselves."
- Dwight L. Moody

Ever seen pictures of a supernova? They are brilliant, beautiful, captivating to look at. After an explosion of color (because its full of itself,) it completely disappears into the darkness.

I think most people want to be known, want to be remembered. If not personally, atleast as a part of something spectacular. I've been in that camp more times than I care to count. I've jockeyed for a place among those supernovas, excited at the time to be a part of the light show. Funny thing is that after the light show, everybody goes home and there isn't much to look at. That's just the reality of a supernova.

A supernova can radiate an incredible amount of energy, lighting up an entire galaxy, expelling its content and causing shock waves, leaving gas and dust behind before completely disappearing out of sight. The analogy for me is daunting as I've seen some spiritual supernovas in my lifetime. This past year has been one of the hardest for me as I grapple with the reality that sometimes Christ-followers become supernovas. Once brilliant, bright and beautiful, they've disappeared completely into darkness. I'm looking at what remains and there's a lot of darkness where there once was a light show. And I ask God - what do you want me to learn from the supernova?

Ever heard of a Casanova? The life of the Italian man Giacomo Casanova holds another analogy for me and not because of his seduction strategies with women. What I find ironic is that Mr. Casanova lived in the shadows of nobility. His memoirs talk of moments in the limelight of 18th Century European living where seducing women was par for the course. A lot of the women he seduced were married or if they were single, he would help get them married off to someone else. And at the end of his life he was empty and bored and had nothing to show for all his years. He lived among nobility but He really wasn't noble. Just like the seduction of supernovas, there's the seduction of living a Casanova life - where you really don't dive in and take on all the essence of pure and noble faith but just live in the shadows, eeking out a living. Never really settling into the depth of being a Christ-follower. Supernova, casanova, same thing.

What can I learn from supernovas and casanovas? One thing's for sure. They're definitely not .....turtles!?

Yep. That bland, slow, green spotted turtle. Slow and steady wins the race. He's not in a hurry. He's not looking to take short cuts. He knows he's got a long journey ahead but He's in it for the long haul and he's willing to do the work to get there. He's willing to stay on the path. Like that turtle who comes out on top, there was no flash, no pomp, just steady and slow. Sometimes I'm a lot more like that haire, that silly rabbit. I fail a lot but I'm reminded of the goal to end well. So I ask Him to make the heart changes that need to be made so that at the end of it all I can hear Christ say, "Good job Jen. You made it to the end."

I think my mom is on to something. She has said many times that in her opinion, no one is a Christian. We're all just practicing Christianity. If that's true, the point is, supernovas die out and Casanovas have nothing to show of their flashy life...... but the turtle, the turtle made it. He put one foot in front of the other. He kept moving forward, moving towards the goal.

What's my goal? To be near, stay near Christ. To become like Him. I am told that if I draw close to my creator, He'll draw close to me. So I've got to slow down and look at the foundations in my life, remember the goal and run the distance.

To die or not to die. . .

As a Christ-follower, there is a strange antithesis between life and death. Before experiencing what Christ calls authentic and genuine living, He told us we must first be willing to die to self and allow His life to flow through us. Paul was able to say

"I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself up for me" Galatians 2:20

I'm not always there. This week I have been keenly aware of my own selfishness, the yuckyness in my heart. The life I now live in the flesh is not always that reflection of faith in Christ and His love for me. Since April is always a time of reflection for me, I guess it's a good time to be so keenly aware of my need for deeper heart changes.

This morning I read through John 12:20 and the story of a group of Greeks who came to Jesus and wanted to hear him speak. Although it's just speculation, it seems that Jesus was very quick to remember his purpose. He was not going to be sidetracked. Its as if the Greeks were saying "We enjoy hearing you. Why don't you come to Athens, the seat of knowledge and wisdom, where your ideas will be accepted". Was there a temptation to look out for himself and stay alive? Instead, Jesus seemed to have a strong reaction.

"Jesus replied, "The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me."

Why would Jesus have such a strong and dramatic response to the Greeks desire to see him? Was dying or not dying the real dilemma at hand?

And isn't that the question every day for those who choose to follow Christ? Am I going to live for myself, my agenda, my thoughts, my ways or am I going to allow the Holy Spirit to work in and through me, am I going to be open to His purpose, His agenda, His thoughts, His ways today?

If anything needs to die today, it's my selfishness. To die or not to die to selfishness is the question. Selfishness is lacking consideration for others and being concerned chiefly with one's own personal profit or pleasure. It needs to die. Selfishness means being self-absorbed, self-obsessed, self-seeking, and self-serving and these roots in my soul need to die.

With black Friday tomorrow, the day Christ went to the cross, I hope to walk more in His steps and allow these things to die. If authentic living is found in giving up the things that I have a "right" to, then this is how Christ is formed in me.

Every Day Light

I love the devotionals at Crosswalk. This one gets sent to my inbox every morning called "Every Day Light".

Get Hold of This!
For reading & meditation - Romans 8:28-39
""... we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."" (v. 28)

Before going on to examine some of the major ways in which life breaks us, we pause to review what we have been saying over these past few days. We said that while the same things may happen to us all, they do not have the same effect upon us all. Life's blows make some people querulous and bitter; others, they sweeten and refine. We also saw that the reason some respond to life positively and turn their problems into possibilities is because of right inner attitudes. There are many non-Christians who put us to shame when it comes to the question of rightly responding to life, and it is high time, therefore, that we Christians got our philosophy of living sorted out once and for all. If, as the Scripture teaches, God will let nothing happen to one of His children without supplying the necessary grace to turn the stumbling block into a stepping stone, then we ought to be ahead of the world in demonstrating how to meet whatever life sends us with confidence and faith. Be quite clear about this: no one can fully represent the Christian way of living until they commit themselves to believing that, though God may allow what appears to be a disaster in the life of one of His children, He does so only if He can turn it to good effect. If transformation is not possible, then God would never have allowed it to happen in the first place. So let this truth sink deep into your spirit - God only allows what He can use.

Established and Kept in April

I'm in absolute shock that we are quickly approaching the month of April. One-third of 2010 is gone. Incredible!

It's always around this time I find my heart grappling for those things that are the best to hold on to. Maybe it's the beginning of Spring and that feeling in the air that anything is possible! I'm ready for the best in life. I want more in every area of what we call "life."

Maybe this is because April is a month that holds quite a bit of meaning for me. Call it the month of reckoning and rebirth but it's rich with meaning for me.

In April of my junior in high school, I could no longer walk away from the incredible love, power and grace that I saw in the eyes of Christ, the Creator and Sustainer of life. I had a lot of questions about life, a lot of anger and pain from past experiences and a lot of guilt and shame for things. Ultimately, my flesh cried out for meaning, for purpose, for truth. What I experienced up to that point could not be the sum end of all of life. For if it was, I was done.

For what seemed like the first time, I heard the truth about Christ. The freedom, the love and passion I experienced at that time was like nothing I'd ever experienced in my life. My identity was rocked to the core. There was a reckoning and a rebirth. Becoming a Christ-follower was all I wanted to think about. He became everything to me and I wanted to learn how to walk that out.

April also became the month where, as a Christ-follower, I celebrate Easter. If Christ didn't rise above the elements of gravity, my faith is in vain. Not only did He rise again from the dead, bringing meaning and purpose to the fact that He's a LIVING God, but every morning when the things that want to destroy me, those elements of my heart that are dead inside, when I feel cold to the things that would bring me life, Christ rises again and again in my heart and says "Come, follow me!". He is alive in the world and alive in me. And it's for this reason I celebrate Easter.

This morning I read "But the LORD is faithful, who shall establish you, and keep you from evil" (2 Thessalonians 3:3) and I believe it. I've seen others more noble than me who professed the name of Christ and later found themselves in a ship-wrecked yard in their faith. What I'm looking at this morning as an evil in the world is when my heart becomes cold, callous and unmoved by the words of the Creator and Sustainer of life.

I'm crying out on the brink of another April - the month of reckoning and rebirth - for more! More of Him and less of myself. I'm looking to the one who is faithful when I'm not. I'm looking to the one who is established and strong when I'm not. Life is rich when Christ is the center and that's my prayer today. God, take center stage. You're faithful to establish and keep me. Please do both and deliver me from evil.

This mornings reading

I don't know what it is about being outside and seeing the landscapes in Spring and Summer, but my heart comes alive with praise and thanksgiving to the God who made it all for our pleasure and sheer enjoyment!

This morning while reading from a parallel Bible, (The Message Remix) which means it's not a word for word translation, but more of a Bible you would put next to a "real" Bible while studying just to give you more "juicy" words to chew on, my heart resonated with how vast and expansive are the number of things created things to consider and how God has fashioned them and deserves our praise! What amazes me is that He still chose to extend His hand to me and invite me in, to be a part of His story, His creation! This morning my heart is light and full with life! Thank you to my amazing Creator!


Psalm 95
"Come, let's shout praises to God, raise the roof for the Rock who saved us! let's march into his presence singing praises, lifting the rafters with our hymns! And why? Because God is the best, High King over all the gods. In one hand he holds deep caves and caverns, in the other grasps the high mountains. He made Ocean - he owns it! His hands sculpted the Earth!

So, come, let us worship: bow before Him, on your knees before God, who made us! Oh yes, he's our God, and we're the people He pastures, the flock He feeds. Drop everything and listen, listen as he speaks! Don't turn a deaf ear as in the bitter uprising, as on the day of the wilderness test, when your ancestors turned and put me to the test. Forty years they watched me at work among them as over and over they tried my patience. And I was provoked-Oh, was I provoked! Can't they keep their minds on God for five minutes?? Do they simply refuse to walk down my road? Exasperated, I exploded, "They'll never get where they're headed, never be able to sit down and rest."

Psalm 96
"Sing God a brand new song! Earth and everyone in it, sing! Sing to God - worship God! Shout the news of his victory from sea to sea, take the news of his glory to the lost, news of his wonders to one and all! For God is great, and worth a thousand Hallelujahs. His terrible beauty makes the gods look cheap; Pagan gods are mere tatter and rags. God mad the heavens - royal splendor radiates from him, a powerful beauty sets him apart. Bravo, God, Bravo! Everyone join in the great shout: Encore! In awe before His beauty, in awe before His might....."

Psalm 97
"God rules: there's something to shout over! ON the double, mainlands and islands, celebrate! Bright clouds and storm clouds circle 'round him; right and justice anchor his rule. Fire blazes out before him, flaming high up the craggy mountains. His lightnings light up the world; earth, wide-eyed trembles in fear. The mountains take one look at God and melt, melt like wax before earth's Lord. The heavens announce that he'll set everything right, and everyone will see it happen - glorious! All who serve handcrafted gods will be sorry - and they were so proud of their ragamuffin gods! On your knees, all you gods - worship him! And Zion, you listen and take heart! Daughters of Zion, sing your hearts out: God has done it all, has set everything right. You, God, are High God of the cosmos, Far, far higher than any of the gods. God loves all who hate evil, and those who love him he keeps safe. Snatches them from the grip of the wicked. Light-seeds are planted in the souls of God's people, joy seeds are planted in good heart-soil. So, God's people, shout praise to God, Give thanks to our Holy God!"

the best Chiropractor in Reno :)

I had no idea how amazing Chiropractic adjustments can be. Back in October I injured my shoulder and had to take some time away from swimming. When I happened to ask a regular doctor about it, he gave me exercises and it actually got worse. I decided to ask Dr. Gomez about my shoulder and when I told him the exercises the doctor gave me, He said, "That's the worse thing you can do for it." He explained what was probably going on with the bone/muscle structure there and started working on adjusting it. He also gave me some exercises to do. It took about six weeks, but I have my shoulder back! Thank you Dr. G!

More recently, my lower back has been in a ton of pain. I think it's because I haven't been as good about stretching after workouts. But after a swift reminder from James, I'm back on track with stretching. My lower back still gets tight very quickly so I've been getting adjusted there and wow! What an incredible difference. I will never go back to living without chiropractic adjustments. And that's all I have to say about that.

If you're looking for a good Chiropractor in Reno, I strongly suggest Dr. Aric Gomez. 853-0250. :)

Green's Color

Shamrocks, Leprechauns, the Color Green, a Pot of Gold, and Guinness Beer. I wish you all these and more. The luck of the Irish! But wait!! Is this the essence of the holiday? For starters, what I find interesting is that St Patrick wasn't even Irish. When I found that out, I was curious.

How did this non-Irish man become so entrenched in Irish history? His integral part of the Irish heritage is in the way he served the country in the 5th century in very unique ways. Patrick (Patricius), which was most likely his Romanized name, grew up as the son of a Roman-British officer. At a young age, he was captured from Britain where he was sold as a slave in Ireland. He spent six years in prison there and during that time, he had an encounter with God that changed the direction of his life.

The story goes that his escape from Ireland was God-ordained and God-directed. When he escaped, he went to Britian and to France and studied in a monastery for 12 years. After becoming a Catholic bishop, He had a dream that the Irish were calling him back to Ireland to tell them about God. He was given the Pope's blessing and went to Ireland. Many of the Gaelic Irish became Christ-followers as He traveled across the country for over 20 years sharing Christ and baptizing a lot of people. He established monasteries, schools, churches but his commitment to the Irish people also caused tension with the Celtic Druids who arrested him on several occasions.

The fact that Patrick was used to bring native Irishmen and women to a vibrant faith and develop the culture and community is a part of history. Now we celebrate it with Guinness beer. I guess that's not all bad, but Pat's life was richer with substance than any Guinness you might drink today. And for any beer drinkers, I guess that's saying a lot.

By the end of the 7th century, many stories were circulated about Patrick's life. It was said he used the three-leafed shamrock to explain the concept of the Trinity - the Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit. There's also a legend that he asked God to take authority over venomous snakes in Ireland, driving all the snakes into the sea where they drowned. These may be legends but after some 1500 years, these legends have been inseparably combined with facts. Patrick's mission in Ireland ended on March 17, AD 461 when he died and now this day is celebrated worldwide as St. Patrick's Day.

As you take a sip of your beer, look for your pot of gold, and sport a bit of green, remember He was a man on a mission. As my body shop bag reads, "Green is not just a color, it's a state of mind." Not really sure how that applies, but go with it.