Winter Cleaning

In the past, Spring and Winter cleaning at my place of residence has always been a part of the yearly ritual. It feels fantastic to get rid of things and get organized. Since my return from Hungary, my stuff has been packed away in a storage unit nearby. I still had an itch for Winter cleaning so I decided to clean out the unit and figure out what I have in there. It's been great to get rid of whatever I can! Love that feeling that one man's junk is another man's treasure!!

I realized I've kept a library of books that I haven't looked at again in several years. I'm thinking about giving them away. Just not sure where and how to post what I've got so people can take them. I'll have to work on that.

One of my biggest treasures has been the rediscovery of old, personal journals. Wow! Talk about revealing.....

The messages I heard on Sunday, my thoughts throughout the week, the people I was spending time with, notes from books I was reading, and my perspective on various guys who were pursuing at the time. Soooooo interesting. I guess I've had more suitors than I cared to remember. Ha!

Some of my journals talk about what it means to be a woman of character, word studies I was doing at the time. As I spent time reading through these old journals, areas in my heart that have been cluttered or cloudy found refreshment and renewal in the words penned in these flimsy little journals stuffed away in a storage unit.

Maybe this Winter cleaning didn't just happen in the storage unit. I think some things were going on in my heart too - a Winter cleaning of sorts!

No doubt

My sister took this picture recently while in Washington. Capturing these kinds of cascading moments in the sky leave no doubt in my mind that God is real. His light, His ways, His essence is bursting through my darkness, my self-absorbed ways, my essence - and that's a beautiful thing!

spurgeon again

"Much alone, and you will have much assurance; little alone with Jesus, your religion will be shallow, polluted with many doubts and fears, and not sparkling with the joy of the Lord. Since the soul-enriching path of prayer is open to the very weakest saint; since no high attainments are required; since you are not bidden to come because you are an advanced saint, but freely invited if you be a saint at all; see to it, dear reader, that you are often in the way of private devotion."

I'm actually frustrated at myself these days for allowing so many other things to become priority over my alone time with Jesus. I know that when I spend quality time behind closed doors with my Bible, journal, worship music in the background, I'm never disappointed. Nothing replaces the quiet calm that comes over the heart of a Christ-follower when His words speak into the deepest crevices of the soul. And I find in times like these when I am sluggish in devotion that my soul craves heavenly words after getting just a taste. It's my carnal flesh that desires other things.

As Spurgeon writes,

"Few Christians understand it, they live in the lowlands and seldom climb to the top of Nebo... At a distance they see the sacrifice... But, reader, sit thou ever under the shadow of Jesus; come up to that palm tree, and take hold of the branches thereof; let thy beloved be unto thee as the apple-tree among the trees of the wood, and thou shalt be satisfied as with marrow and fatness. O Jesus, visit us with Thy salvation!"

This is my prayer this Christmas. I want to be visited by the mighty God, the one who was humble enough to come as baby Jesus first. I'd rather not have a faith like Will Farrel's who prays to little baby Jesus who has no power. I want that living active faith working in my soul. I know what I need to do. Lord, help me carve out the time and do it!!

Is my way hidden?

Recently I've found myself growing weary of pain and suffering in the world. From close friends going through it to people I don't even know but hear about in the news facing painful, dark, discouraging things, I'm just kind of over it!

Maybe I just do better not living in reality because the truth of the matter is that this life is filled with things that are painful and suck. And yet you have a moment like this past week when the value of human life and the good things in this life are highlighted as the 33 Chilean men were rescued from a hole 3 miles down. So we rejoice (I even got teary-eyed) with a man who helped lead and organize them through this crisis. And that's the value of life.

I'm sure those men wondered, especially in the first few weeks when no one knew they were alive, if their way was hidden, if they would be left, forgotten, disregarded.

And sometimes here on earth, don't people wonder that? Where is God in the midst of pain? Have we been left, forgotten, disregarded? Does He know what people are going through? Why doesn't He fix it?

As a believer, hard times and hard things don't shake my faith in Christ or cause me to question His goodness or His sovereignty. Instead it creates a very deep longing for Him to come back and make all things right, as He promised that He'd do. It's not that He's powerless to do it now. He IS working, His kingdom IS advancing, but all this work is taking place in our hearts and in unseen places. Things we only get glimpses of but one day it will all become clear, the final scene in life, when the curtains are pulled back and all of us see what it's all about.

The works that Jesus worked were in our hearts and this is how it is today. Even when Jesus was alive, people wanted him to be the political leader. But he made it clear that this world was not his kingdom. The Kingdom of God would be within us, in our hearts. He's after our heart, ALL of it. I long for that day when He comes back and personally wipes tears from eyes and make all things right. For now we live in that "pause" of history where a lot of unseen things are taking place.

And the interesting thing is whatever pain or suffering you are experiencing, Jesus is familiar with it more than anyone else. Each heart knows its own bitterness...but He sticks closer than a best friend or brother. He is working in our hearts and our lives, even through painful things. I still don't get it, but I guess I don't have to. And when I get weary of all the pain, I remember that He is strong. He is good. He is working, even when I cannot see it.

I just read in Isaiah 40:27-31
"Why do you say O Jacob and complain O Israel, my way is hidden from the Lord. My cause is disregarded by my God. Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God and the creator of the ends of the earth. HE will not grow tired and weary and His understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow weary and young men stumble and fall, but those who hope in the Lord shall renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles, run and not grow weary, walk and not faint."