With all my heart

With all my heart, I'm trusting what I can't see
Details uncertain, random possibilities.
Assured by love that You're making a way for me.

I look for quick answers and a coffee to go.
But there's another way you're leading--heart-changing and slow.
I'll stop trying to figure out this life on my own.

Looking for answers when my soul is weak.
Refusing to believe my future will be bleak.
Ears are for listening, and You speak.

Then I'm quick to think I've got it figured out.
But get humbled again when life takes a new route.
And you understand all this, even when I pout.

More than I want to listen, You want to be heard.
Your peace makes other peoples noise sound absurd.
And so I rest, I wait, I watch in Your word.

Learning to trust is not a cowardice plan.
When I run to you, the difficult is easier to understand.
All of the questions seem insignificant as I take your hand.
And no matter the future, I can stand.......with all my heart.


Proverbs 3:5-12
"Trust God from the bottom of your heart;
don't try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;
He's the one who will keep you on track.
Don't assume that you know it all.
Run to God! Run from evil!
Your body will glow with health,
your very bones will vibrate with life!"

Runnersworld sends out a daily 'kick in the butt' email with an inspirational quote that I love to read. Right now I'm trying to focus on running, since I'm waiting for the shoulder to heal and since biking is a strength for me. I'm looking at a doing a Half Marathon and a Sprint Tri event in April, but we'll see. If not both events, atleast one. If I had to choose, I'd choose the Sprint Tri. I really hate running and the thought that I am forcing myself to get up to 2 hours of running is dreadful. It truly is an ordeal but I'm hoping to make it an accomplishment!! I want to do a half this year, even if it's not the funnest thing I've ever done. I will do one!!

Here's today's quote:

"At first an ordeal and then an accomplishment, the daily run becomes a staple, like bread, or wine, a fine marriage, or air. It is also a free pass to friendship."
Benjamin Cheever, Strides

Hoping to get a 4 mile run in sometime this a.m. Any friends gonna join me?

your beauty

“Let your beauty not be external - the braiding of hair and wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes - but the inner person of the heart, the lasting beauty of a gentle and tranquil spirit, which is precious in God’s sight.” 1 Peter 3:3-4 (NET) In another translation, verse 4 says, "but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious."

This morning I found myself reading this scripture and taking time to reflect on its meaning as a woman who wants to reflect her creator.

First, I was reminded of the concept of mirrors that my friend Lara developed for her weekend events for women. Basically, the message is this. All of us are looking into one of three mirrors - either the mirror of pop culture and what it's telling us we need to look like, the mirror of self-judgment, based on certain things we hold onto internally that are often tainted, or the final mirror of the truth of God's word and God's perspective. I got excited thinking about finding a few scripture verses to memorize and keep close by so that I can keep my mind centered on that third mirror, the mirror of my Creator's truth about me. If I'm going to keep internal beauty real, then my thoughts and perspectives of myself must be based on truth, not my own truth but His truth. I also have to say this doesn't mean as a woman I won't want to look good or enjoy some of the latest fashion trends but I can't base my worth and my identity on that.

I don't think it's a message ladies can hear enough especially with today's culture promoting plastic surgery, the latest fashions and the smallest sizes. Sadly though when we become reduced to our external beauty, we've reduced ourselves to "eye candy" and all the trappings that come with that perspective. It's easy to remain superficial and just build yourself up externally. Where culture focuses on external beauty, your God sees the inward beauty of the heart. Every day you are dressing up your heart and/or stripping away things that keep your hearts true beauty in Christ from shining through. Just as there are things we do to look cute on the outside, there are ways to cultivate internal beauty too.

The other thought I had was that coming from a family of loud mouthed and opinionated Italians and Hungarians, I'm not exactly one you might consider quiet. :) As I looked a little closer, I realized that it's not talking about a quiet voice but a quiet spirit. Did you know that what's on the deepest level of who you are as an individual will seep out, whether you like it or not? The hidden person of the heart is there. You may not say a lot but your spirit may be speaking volumes and it might be really loud with anxiety, fear, anger. At Monday night small group we learned about living the Christ-centered life, where any goodness inside is because God's seed of life is planted in our hearts and as we water that, it grows. The same is true about giving into your flesh and watering that, that's what will take over too.

So then I had to ask myself, what does a quiet spirit look like? How do you water that? The word quiet is also a synonym for tranquil and looking up that word, I found it means free from disturbance, calm, still, composed, even-tempered, generally peaceful. With various pressures and demands in life, it's easy to lose that state of heart and mind. How quickly anxiety, disturbance, and the swing of emotions waits at the door to try and replace a peace found at one time or somewhere in the early morning hours before venturing out of bed.

"....I come, quiet my soul, remember...."

And maybe that's the point in keeping a quiet spirit. All throughout the day, I can come, I need to come to the Creator of this heart of mine, even in little ways, and lay those burdens down, replace them with the strength and joy Christ longs to impart and exude from my life.

Today I'm asking for the fruit of God's spirit in me to be gentle. Gentleness is kind and tender. It's a freedom from harsh, severe actions. Sometimes I need to be gentle with myself. Sometimes I need to be gentle with others. Either way I want that gentle and quiet spirit, one that my Creator has fashioned and formed me to walk in.

Taking the time to focus on what will last, this inner heart life, is time well spent.

Franklin's Planners and Working Out :)

2010 is going to be a year filled with changes and new experiences! I don't mind it. I'm very excited about it.

With a new Franklin planner in hand, I'm excited to organize my day in the morning. As far as I can remember, in fact I think it was Robert Pierce and Jamie Weston who first introduced me to the novel little book, Franklin's been the planner choice for me. I've tried others and they just won't do.

This Franklin's a little different as it's broken up into months, has a "next action" notebook and a really cool insert with a "time map" on it. I hope to be more resourceful with my time and that will really happen if I can avoid long AT&T calls like last nights that took almost an hour and still didn't resolve a thing!

As much as I like all things techy, and would have loved to go paperless (I actually did search for a planner that works with my I-phone) ultimately the joy of writing in appointments, travel engagements, and to do's and crossing them off is sheer pleasure.

I'm really excited about the time map component of this planner specifically for the purpose of training. It will give me a chance weekly to write in workouts and keep track of what I'm eating and look at my progress for some upcoming events.

Speaking of events, I'm looking forward to completing a first half marathon this year. Yes, I said it. This commits me to it, Lord willing. And of course I'll throw in a few Sprint Tri's (hoping to do atleast one by the ocean). For the challenge, I believe this is the year I will begin to mix it up a bit and work in the Olympic distance training for a Tri. The distances aren't much longer than the Sprint distances, and I keep telling myself it's doable. Deception is bliss?? I don't know.

One of the funnest parts for me is doing this with others. James has wanted to do a Sprint Tri way before he met me, so for awhile now he's also had the desire and so we get to start training together in the Spring. It looks like I have some other running and training buddies that I am just so thrilled about too!

I don't know if I'll do it, but I wrote it as a goal in the Franklin. I would really love to get a legit Personal Trainers Cert this year. The one I got was a joke, but it was really something for me to do for myself personally while I was in Hungary and I did enjoy learning some things along the way. My biggest fear is that I'll forget it all, as I don't have the best memory. I'm not one of those people who can remember bone and muscle names. That's just not me. But if I do get a cert, I will go with the ACSM cert, which Dr. Gomez recommends and I trust his opinion.

So here's to training and planning and organizing the year ahead!
2010 is going to be a great year, especially because He's Immanuel, God with us!

Sarah's Daughters

As if it might be the title to a great song with an interesting music video, I was driving home from Reno one night this week and reminded -- ladies, we are Sarah's daughters.

Sarah is one of my favorite women in the Bible. For over a decade, God promised her a son, a child she could hold and love but she waited and waited and nothing happened. Her promise of motherhood was challenged by the reality that she was a barren woman. The moral of the story for me is in the face of challenging circumstances, God still breaks through. Years passed and still there was no baby. I'm sure she felt shame, disappointment, bitterness. I think she even blamed God. Who wouldn't? Who hasn't?

What I find interesting is that from Sarah's life of fears, a legacy of faith was born. In the end, "Because of faith also Sarah herself received physical power to conceive a child, even when she was long past the age for it, because she considered [God] Who had given her the promise to be reliable and trustworthy and true to His word," (Hebrews 11:11 AMP). In the end her faith won out.

In the face of circumstantial evidence, she let the evidence of His trustworthy nature pile up right next to it. And her heart had to learn to trust God's timing. Sarah's faith won her the honor of being one of the only women in the Bible to exemplify true faith in Hebrews 11. You and I are actually considered Sarah's daughters when we don't allow things to terrify us, when we don't give way to hysterical fears or let anxieties unnerve us. (1Peter 3:6 AMP). I wonder if her heart finally came to a place after being disappointed where she looked her fears in the eye and stared it down. I wonder if she just found a way to say "No more!" When you and I can do that, we have inherited Sarah's legacy of faith.

As a woman still learning to be a Christ-follower after all these years, being called a daughter of Sarah has a lot of meaning to me. Sarah's life is a great reminder that God works with our imperfections. It's also encouraging to see He doesn't promise a perfect life. Sarah's heart got sick when the thing she hoped for, the thing God promised, seemed to be a fleeting dream. Her and her husband were promised a child but weeks turned into months and months turned into years and Sarah finally took things into her own hands. She rationalized and reasoned away God's promise. Even though Sarah and Abraham made a mess of things, God didn't give up. I find that remarkable. He truly is the most forgiving and loving God.

How many 90 year old women do you know who get pregnant and live to tell about it? Um, yeah. That takes a lot of trust so I doubt I would have done anything different if I were in her shoes. I'm sure those nine months were long and mysterious, full of joy, doubt and perhaps a bit of sorrow for not trusting God in the beginning. I wonder what went through her mind when she delivered her son. Sarah was very human and the interesting and encouraging thing I find from her story is that she tried to do things her own way at first. But now the thing that was always going to be given to her was taking place. Her fears were quieted by the overwhelming evidence that God keeps His word.

I thank God for the women in my life today who are examples of Sarah's daugthers. I've been fortunate to be raised by a strong and compassionate mother; I enjoy the friendship of two very unique and beautiful sisters. I'm surrounded by beautiful women friends who have overcome some incredible challenges in their single lives, marriages, families and just plain living life.

As I drove home thinking about how fortunate I am to know so many of Sarah's daughters, I was also thankful for Sarah's story. I get inspired by real women who choose to fully embrace the challenges and victories of life. This generation needs to know that Sarah's daughters are women of strength and character, not perfect by any means but learning to trust and believe together for our families and our lives. Thank you for being a woman in my life who I've seen overcome, who is faithful in the best way you know how to serve the Lord, to serve in a community of other believers and to live life to it's fullest. Thank you for being Sarah's daughter.

PS - One thing I learned and thought was interesting is that Sarah's name was first Sarai which means noble woman. Later God changed her name to Sarah which means princess. =) We grew up learning the Disney princess stories. Interesting that as a woman of faith, as a daughter of Sarah, you're also God's princess. :) Just a thought.

We The Redeemed

We The Redeemed, Hillsong

There is nothing like Your love
No exchange for all You gave
To be welcomed into life
So I can know the love it takes

Now forever to be loved
To walk with You for all my days
There’s no greater love than this
You are the Author and the Way

This is the sound of the redeemed
Rising up to praise the King
Our hope is in You
This is the sound of the redeemed
Rising up to praise the King

Singing glorious glorious One You have saved us
Honor and Power and Praise to the Savior.
You are the Answer You are the Answer

You come with power come with fire
As we lift Your name on high
And join with all the saints to sing
In bringing Honor to the King.

Pre-Chorus + Chorus

Instrumental

Pre-Chorus + Chorus

Bridge:
We the redeemed
Hear us singing
You are Holy
You are Holy

A New Year

What did your New Year's Eve look like? I'm curious.

My last night of 2009 was spent watching Beverly Hills Ninja and Terminator 3 with James, his roommate Jake and a bunch of guys. Around 11 pm James and I ventured up to the hill in Northwest Reno that overlooks downtown (aka the property off Leadership Parkway) and watched the fireworks with hot cocoa in hand, glow in the dark necklaces, hats and blow horns that didn't really blow.

The full moon glistened off the snow in the dark night air and James and I enjoyed some good conversations with the lights of downtown Reno in the distance. He's a good man for wearing his glow necklace and celebrating full flare, wearing hat and all! It was a fabulous New Year's Eve.

Today my mom and I are going to Dillards to meet my sister and find some really good bargains. Apparently there is a half off the half off sales from Christmas, which translates into $5 shirts. We'll see. The rumor was that lucky jeans were purchased there last year for as little as $15. Sounds too good to be true!

After my mom and I run a few errands, most likely I'll come back to unwind and unpack from Sacramento. Most of my new years day will be spent reading, praying, organizing, and cleaning.

I always love the beginning of a new year. It's like getting a fresh test in high school with no erase marks, and no answers filled in. OK maybe that's not the most exciting example. But you get the picture, a clean slate. Nothings been written, nothings been done. Maybe that's why so many people make resolutions because they want to redirect and rewrite parts of their life that need adjustment. I don't know but for me I process a new year through by looking to my maker in the midst of it and extending my heart to him, asking and desiring his thoughts, his desires and his dreams as I step into a new year.

This morning I read a devotional by Charles Spurgeon in the Morning and Evening Devotional. Here's what it said. What is sackbut? camphire? spikenard? - Old English of which I have no idea!!! Sounds mysteriously peculiar to me. And yet my heart resonates with the rest of this devo. Basically, rejoice in Him. Open up this new year with songs and sounds of praise and thanksgiving! Even if things have been bitter in 2009, there's a sweet treasure in our relationship with the living God!


"Evening...

Song of Solomon 1:4
We will be glad and rejoice in Thee.

We will be glad and rejoice in Thee. We will not open the gates of the year to the dolorous notes of the sackbut, but to the sweet strains of the harp of joy, and the high sounding cymbals of gladness. "O come, let us sing unto the Lord: let us make a joyful noise unto the rock of our salvation." We, the called and faithful and chosen, we will drive away our griefs, and set up our banners of confidence in the name of God. Let others lament over their troubles, we who have the sweetening tree to cast into Marah's bitter pool, with joy will magnify the Lord. Eternal Spirit, our effectual Comforter, we who are the temples in which Thou dwellest, will never cease from adoring and blessing the name of Jesus. We WILL, we are resolved about it, Jesus must have the crown of our heart's delight; we will not dishonour our Bridegroom by mourning in His presence. We are ordained to be the minstrels of the skies, let us rehearse our everlasting anthem before we sing it in the halls of the New Jerusalem. We will BE GLAD AND REJOICE: two words with one sense, double joy, blessedness upon blessedness. Need there be any limit to our rejoicing in the Lord even now? Do not men of grace find their Lord to be camphire and spikenard, calamus and cinnamon even now, and what better fragrance have they in heaven itself? We will be glad and rejoice IN THEE. That last word is the meat in the dish, the kernel of the nut, the soul of the text. What heavens are laid up in Jesus! What rivers of infinite bliss have their source, ay, and every drop of their fulness in Him! Since, O sweet Lord Jesus, Thou art the present portion of Thy people, favour us this year with such a sense of Thy preciousness, that from its first to its last day we may be glad and rejoice in Thee. Let January open with joy in the Lord, and December close with gladness in Jesus."

I'm excited to see what this year has in store and I will rejoice in knowing one thing that is forever unchanging. He is Immanuel, God with us!!

Happy New Year To All!! =))